My Journey of Healing My Body

So I don't have a dramatic story, of how I had cancer and radically changed everything I did and my cancer went into remission. But I have been on a journey of healing for my body.

Since I have become an adult, my diet has been what most north americans would consider quite healthy. I have not had to deal with any chronic illness, and because of my body type it is fairly easy to maintain a certain weight. But I have known enough about health and nutrition to know that I could be so much healthier. I simply did not have the motivation to pursue it.

All the Heavy Things

So I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Not that anyone cares about this blog right now, because I am almost literally the only one who looks at it. Sometimes that is way more comfortable. I feel like I can bare the little parts of my soul that are the most vulnerable, put it out there for someone to have the potential of reading it and helping them. But there is very little risk, since in reality I am the only one reading it. I hold very tightly to my newly budding and most sacred values and opinions, because I think my heart could easily be crushed if they are rejected or stomped on. But I feel a day is coming when I can't do that anymore. That I have to share, because there are too many issues out there that need addressing. Too many problems that need solutions. And if I truly value the things I believe then the only way I can make a difference is by sharing that.

The heavy things are important. We need to talk about them. They might be uncomfortable to face. They can make us see the ugliness in the world and ourselves. No one enjoys that. But if we will never talk about them, they can never change.

Stall... and Then Keep Moving Forward

I feel stuck right now. I start to sing. But I haven't felt like I can put my all into it for a couple weeks. And I can feel it slipping. Like I can't get the same range and tone. Or volume and power. It's like my heart isn't in it right now. But I want it to be so bad. But its not just singing.

Its like I can't put my full heart into anything right now. I'm still working at things, I haven't dropped the ball completely. I'm still trying to blog, and I adore my family. But it feels like there are walls blocking me putting my full passion into the things I am doing. I haven't been relishing and enjoying it the way I was before. I don't feel the self expression like I have been. I don't know if it is just unrealistic for me expect to always feel so much heart and passion in the things I do. Things I love. But I want to. I believe I can. So why? Why does this happen? Why do I so quickly go from feeling so much is going into the actions I take to feeling so blocked up?

Seven Steps to Developing Any Talent

You can have any skill you want. Really, you can. But... the big but. You have to want it. You have to work at it. You have no idea where to start.

Learning something new can be broken down into a process and then the same process applied to anything you are interested in. And with the amount of knowledge available at your finger tips the only valid excuse you can have is that it not a priority for your time.

Here are 7 steps you can apply to any skill you want to develop.

Singing Again

I started singing again last week. I suppose I started again a while ago. But I decided to earnestly begin to work my voice out and actually get better. I've been trying to make sure I sing for an hour every day, at least 20 minutes of that being time spent on exercises pushing my boundaries. I want to be able to have better range and tone then I ever have. Really, I don't think that will be difficult, since I don't think I have ever focused so specifically on working out my voice. At least, not since I was very young.

It is actually amazing to see my progress.  Already I can tell that my range, control and sound are improving.

I'm not sure why I stopped singing. I had several years where I hardly sang at all. At the time, I was in and out of depression. And I didn't feel as close to my husband either. I suppose I was self conscious. My voice was lost.

But now I have found it again. And I love it.

We'll just see how much everyone living with me can handle it...

One more time

I am beginning again.... again.  So I know that is my continuing theme here.  I am always starting over. I have been constantly trying to have my fresh start, the one that will finally stick.  And my intentions are always sincere.  I always genuinely mean that I am going to make it a real habit.  But some how, this is always my most common post.  Can I say that this time I really mean it without it being a cliche, guaranteeing my failure?  I believe I can....

I think I can.... I think I can.

I think I can.

Ok so here goes.

Again.

To New Beginnings

Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life and the kind of life I want to lead.  There are so many good I want to be able to do, things I want to be able to accomplish.  Particularly things I want to teach my children.  But when I look at how I am living my life now, it is going to take a long time to be able to accomplish the least of items on that list, let alone all of them.  So I know I need to make changes, I know I want to be more organized, have a better schedule and be teaching my children differently then I have been doing.  I want to not only recognize the value of work, but know it by living it.  I want to be actively shaping my character, not simply letting life happen to me.  The difficulty is that I have wanted this in the past.  But I can never seem to keep the motivation and commitment that I start with.  As I was pondering that today, two verses in particular came to mind:

But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. -Jacob 2:18