All the Heavy Things

So I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Not that anyone cares about this blog right now, because I am almost literally the only one who looks at it. Sometimes that is way more comfortable. I feel like I can bare the little parts of my soul that are the most vulnerable, put it out there for someone to have the potential of reading it and helping them. But there is very little risk, since in reality I am the only one reading it. I hold very tightly to my newly budding and most sacred values and opinions, because I think my heart could easily be crushed if they are rejected or stomped on. But I feel a day is coming when I can't do that anymore. That I have to share, because there are too many issues out there that need addressing. Too many problems that need solutions. And if I truly value the things I believe then the only way I can make a difference is by sharing that.

The heavy things are important. We need to talk about them. They might be uncomfortable to face. They can make us see the ugliness in the world and ourselves. No one enjoys that. But if we will never talk about them, they can never change.


They cause the most problems. They hurt the most people. And only recognition allows for room for change. Is it fun to talk about? No. Is it rewarding? Absolutely.

I find that as I dive deeper into thinking about the heavy things I am moulding my character and watching it be moulded. I am coming to know myself more clearly. My true motivations, my virtues, my vices. And as I do that, and try to compassionately change myself for the better, it is easier for me to be compassionate and helpful towards others. With the desire to help them be their best self, however they choose to pursue that. I am no longer content to sit in the co-dependency that allows us to sit and fester. I don't completely know what living another way will look like. But I am excited to find out.

I want to start some of those conversations. There is lots coming. I am working on it. Most of it is just the heavy things, and it takes time to sort all of it out, to learn about it so I am sharing my informed opinion. And I want to do so with tact, if possible. I know a lot of what I have to say might be uncomfortable and may even offend. It is certainly not my intention. I want to inform others with compassion and an understanding of their perspective as well. I recognize that attacking only promotes continued aggression, whether that is physical, mental or emotional. But I also recognize that I need to share my opinions honestly, and not everyone will like what I have to say.

That is ok. They are on their own journey. And sometimes we when we face things and start to let it change for the better it is painful. Not everyone is ready for that pain. I have heard it said that people are ready to change when the pain of the problem is greater then the pain of the solution.

I have been finding that the more I strive for empathy, the more I understand the pain that exists, and I don't want to live there anymore, nor cause someone else's pain. And so, even though the pain of change may seem like more at the time, I know that once it is over that the relief and freedom waiting on the other side is worth it.