Trying to Inspire

How do we inspire others? I teach a class, and I love the subject. There is so much depth, so much to be gained from the topic each week. I am able to get great participation, some very good discussion. Which I am grateful for, because I don't think that happened much before. I think they may have had a lot of information spewed at them.

But.... but I want more then great discussion for them. I want to know they are doing the reading. I want to know they are internalizing the subject matter. I want to know that it is becoming a part of who they are, and they are awakening to a new sense of their potential.

I have been giving them the invitation, pleading for them to take action. I told them I want so much more for them, but I cannot do that alone. For them to get everything that they can out of the class, they have to engage with the readings, they have to be internalizing it. The discussion can be wonderful, engaging and uplifting, but if they don't do their own study they can't internalize. I want it to become a part of who they are. There is so much more there.

I think they are glimpsing that. I think that they are beginning to have a vision of something more. I know that what we are discussing can change our very natures. But not if we are keeping it at arms length. I think they can feel that now. I think they are starting to reach for more.

My Poor Neglected Blog

My poor neglected blog. It has been such a very looooooooooooong time. I happened upon you again, and I think I have missed you. I thought I had other things I needed to do. Some things that for some reason, I thought were more important then you.

But I'm back. I realize now that I need you. Perhaps you think it silly, ridiculous even.

It's true, though. I do. I need you. I need your help. I need a place for self expression. Some where to throw my voice into the wind. It really doesn't matter if someone else finds you. I just need to share with someone what is in my mind and heart. To mull things over. To help me find my inner truths. I think that the best one to share that with is you. And if some person hears my calls in the wind, if it helps them, all the better.

Reading through your pages, I wonder how I could have ever left you? The forgotten treasures here are more precious then anything else I have been pursuing. I feel like you have awakened a sleeping corner of my soul.

So please forgive me for forgetting you. For leaving you alone. I look forward to each of us making the other better.

Getting Back the Wonder

I love to watch my children. They embrace so much with such abandon. To hear their voices as they create the plot lines for their game is delightful. It brings me so much joy that sometimes it is difficult to keep it contained. I know that to them, their play is very serious business, and if I do not take it seriously could cause them embarrassment. I want them to know that I value it, too. But sometimes it is too wonderful to keep inside, and a grin spreads across my face.

They are so free. They run and sing and jump and climb on a whim. There is no half living. It is everything, their complete focus on the thing at hand, or they are sleeping. There are no ulterior motives. If they pick a flower for me, it is simply because they thought it was beautiful and wanted to see me smile. That is enough to them. It is such an example to me.

My Journey of Healing My Body

So I don't have a dramatic story, of how I had cancer and radically changed everything I did and my cancer went into remission. But I have been on a journey of healing for my body.

Since I have become an adult, my diet has been what most north americans would consider quite healthy. I have not had to deal with any chronic illness, and because of my body type it is fairly easy to maintain a certain weight. But I have known enough about health and nutrition to know that I could be so much healthier. I simply did not have the motivation to pursue it.

Holding on to Hope

I recently had an interesting discussion with a friend. We covered a lot of topics, amongst them racism, prejudice, problems of nationalism, the objectification of women, the pursuit of privileges without accepting responsibility, and struggles with attraction shadowing all the decisions we make.

He agreed, none of it is ideal, life would be better if these were not so, but argued that there is little we can do to change these things in the world at large. And perhaps he is right. Perhaps the most that those of us who want to change all of this can do is live our life the way we want the world to be, and teach our children how to do better if they so choose. Maybe it is simply the idealist in me yearning for utopia, but my heart aches to believe that there must be more I can do. There must be things I can say to someone to help them change their life for the better, to let go of shackles they had no idea they were clinging to. There must be ways to break down these systems that people buy into that do not serve them, but enslave them. 

Settling In

I'm back! So the last two weeks we've settling into our new home! It has been wonderful. We call it the "farm" although it isn't much of a farm at the moment. We have two haying fields, a pasture without animals, a small sugar bush for making maple syrup, and a few scattered fruit bushes and trees. My kiddos have been throughly enjoying running and puddle jumping and haystack climbing. They have spent more time outside then in, and that includes the time they spend sleeping. It makes my heart happy.

We are working hard fixing up the house to our liking, and figuring out how we want to arrange things outside. We don't expect to have a big garden or much produce to speak of this year. A lot of our fruit trees need a good pruning and likely some nutrients added to their soil. The grape vines are a little wild. But every where we look we see potential. It is very exciting! I was able to gather a bunch of rhubarb already, and I am looking forward to picking all the wild strawberries growing in the fields in about a month. Mmmm Mmm.

We are making progress towards our goals of living off grid. It is going to take sometime. We don't have the means to do it all now. But getting here has been a huge step in the right direction. One that we have been able to take sooner then we had expected. And although it has only been two weeks, the peace and beauty and freedom I feel here is amazing. It is beginning to feel like home.

Imagine

This is a little something that I wrote in 2007.



Imagine... I do. I imagine a world of "I am"s. A world with endless possibility. I imagine I know that I have boundless potential. I imagine I have the drive of nothing held back, no inhibitions, because I know that everything I'm striving for is in my best interest; and if it's not, it'll lead me to what is. I imagine I have a life without judgment, my precious resources are not wasted on that. I imagine I allow others to have their judgments without allowing them to influence me. I imagine I choose everything in my life, and it is all there for my greater good; to teach me, to help me grow. I imagine I am an influence for good in every aspect of my life, in every circle of influence I am in. I imagine I reach beyond what others around me can see, and getting there. I imagine I reach for the stars and accept them into my life. I imagine everything in my life is a great gift from God, sent for me to have a beautiful, abundant and prosperous life; and I imagine I openly, freely and gratefully let everything flow into my life. I imagine I always fly on the wings of change and flow; I imagine I am always grounded in knowing and loving myself; I imagine these two are my healthiest states. I imagine I am a strong, powerful and driven woman, whose word is law for myself. I imagine I allow others to have the full capacity of their ability to choose. I imagine I do everything with passion. I imagine I allow myself to feel every emotion that I have, in the very moment I have it, and allowing those around me to see it. I imagine I have life full of love, for myself and everyone around me, and I both receive and give it. I imagine I am a great influence, that every positive thought that I have is of benefit to the world, and every action I take is a movement toward global change. I imagine I am an inspiration, that others see me or the fruits I produce and choose to improve their lives, even if it's just for a moment. I imagine I am a safe place, where I and everyone in my life can be free to be completely themselves. I imagine I have infinite opportunities, and every opportunity I act upon opens the door to another world of infinite opportunities. I imagine I have absolute freedom to choose, in every moment.

Now, imagine replacing every "imagine" there with "believe"... I do. And when I do that, they become my reality.